FAQ: What to expect in couples counselling

Will I be blamed for our relationship problems?

The goal of counselling is to improve communication and connection in the relationship and to retrieve the emotional bond between you. Assigning blame is not part of the process. Most relationships have suffered injuries of one type or another. The injuries may be minor (miscommunication or misunderstanding) or they may be major (affairs, betrayal, severe disappointment). Couples responses to each other make sense in the context of hurt and pain and often negative cycles ensue. The role of the therapist is to find methods to help the couple understand and de-escalate the negative cycle and heal the injuries, not to punish either partner.

What if our relationship is beyond repair?

When couples fear they can no longer be together but want to be sure of their decision, they may go through a process of discernment, which entails an exploration of all facets of the relationship before making a final decision.

In some cases, couples know they are ending the relationship before seeking counselling. The role of therapy in such cases is to help the couple move forward in a constructive manner and avoid possible destruction of a hostile split.

Will I have to cry in therapy?

While clients do sometimes cry in therapy, it is not a goal of the therapy session. Crying is a natural human response to pain and is neither not judged. Your therapist will support you regardless of how you express your emotions.

Will anyone else know what we discuss in therapy?

Therapy is confidential, and anything said is kept between clients and their therapists. Exceptions occur when a therapist becomes aware that harm to the client or others is imminent, when there is some kind of abuse reported, or when the therapist’s records are subpoenaed by a court of law

How much does therapy cost?

I charge £60 per session.

How many sessions will be needed?

It varies by client of course, but 12 to 20 sessions is a good average.

If I can’t meet in person but need help, are there other options?

Sometimes, brief communication by email or phone is possible at no extra charge. Full sessions are also available online at the regular rate.

What if I feel unsafe in the relationship?

 Your therapist can help you take steps to protect yourself and find help and resources to protect you. Also, if a dangerous situation becomes obvious during a session, your therapist may be legally required to report it to appropriate authorities.

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